if you believe in love, you're always alive
by splendidlyimperfect
Summary: Natsu's prone to accidents, and the ER nurse is starting to recognize him on sight. His boyfriends are good at taking care of him. / **Part of 'i'm with them' series, see profile for links**
1. Chapter 1

"Y'r eyes are… pr'tty."

Natsu giggled and the hospital nurse raised his eyebrows, a small smile creeping across his face. He shone a light into Natsu's eyes and Natsu winced, pulling back. Everything hurt.

"Didn't you tell me that a pretty boy got you into this mess?" the nurse teased. Natsu frowned, looking at the man's name tag. _Loke_.

"Lis'n, Loke…" Natsu frowned, blinking a few times. Everything was fuzzy, but this was important. "Sting's r'lly… r'lly pretty."

"So you've told me," Loke replied, tipping Natsu's chin up and looking at the stitches along his forehead. A dark bruise was forming over his left cheek, accompanying the bright red scrape that ran down to his chin. "Sting didn't answer his phone, though, did you have somebody else who could come pick you up?"

Natsu looked at Loke blankly for a moment, then dug in his pocket for his phone. The screen was cracked, bits of glass falling out, and he pouted.

"I… jus' got this," he said, sighing deeply. Loke took the phone from him gently, flipping it open to his text history. The first conversation that popped up was a group chat titled _four dicks (pretty boyfriends)_. Loke raised an eyebrow, turning the phone to Natsu.

"Anyone from here?" he asked.

"Yeah!" Natsu's face lit up and he went to grab the phone before looking down and remembering that his arm was in a cast from wrist to shoulder. "Hurts."

"I know it does," Loke said gently. "We'll get you some more painkillers. Can I call one of your… boyfriends?"

"Mm." Natsu yawned. "Gray's… think he's a' work." He raised his eyebrows and leaned in to whisper conspiratorially to Loke. "He- som'times he's grumpy, but- but he's good."

"Uhuh." Loke tapped on the group chat. "So is he… _lucky mushroom xoxo, #1 at sucking dicks_ or _bossy bitch who ate my noodles?"_

"Dicks," Natsu replied automatically. Loke rolled his eyes and tapped the name, putting the broken phone to his ear. It rang several times before someone picked up.

"Hey babe, I'm just going into a meeting, can you-"

"I'm sorry, this is Toronto General Hospital," Loke interrupted. He heard a sharp intake of breath and quickly reassured, "Natsu is okay, he had a bit of an accident and ended up here. He's been given some painkillers and he needs someone to pick him up."

"Baaaabe," Natsu called out loudly. "'s cause Sting sen' me a hot-"

"You can tell him when he gets here," Loke said firmly, looking around to the other patients. Then he turned back to the phone. "Are you-"

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

* * *

"He… got hit by a car because Sting sent him a nude?" Rogue's voice was incredulous as he watched Gray lead Natsu into the apartment, then guide him to the couch where Sting was sitting, nearly in tears.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," Sting said, gently pulling Natsu into a hug. Natsu hummed against Sting's shoulder, giving him a sloppy kiss on the neck.

"'s okay," he slurred. Sting raised his eyebrows at Gray, who smiled softly and shook his head.

"He's on… a considerable amount of painkillers," Gray said, shaking the bag of prescription bottles. "He managed to break his arm in two places, fracture his skull, and get sixteen stitches in his head and leg."

"Gods, babe," Sting gasped, brushing Natsu's hair out of his face. "What- how-"

"According to the nurse," Gray said, "he-"

"Nurse was pr'tty," Natsu said sleepily, leaning against the back of the couch. He looked over at Sting with pure adoration on his face and reached out with his non-injured arm to touch Sting's cheek. "Not- not as pretty 's you. I tol' him that." Sting's cheeks flushed pink.

 _"Anyway,"_ Gray continued, reaching over the couch and stroking Natsu's hair affectionately. "He got distracted by the text while crossing the street and nearly got hit by a car, and when he jumped out of the way, he got hit by a guy on a bicycle which pushed him back into the path of the car."

"Shit." Rogue sat down on the couch next to Natsu, who yawned and snuggled up against Sting, shifting until he was almost entirely in Sting's lap.

"I like you… so much," Natsu murmured, curling his fingers in Sting's shirt. Sting looked up at the other two, tears slipping from his eyes as he gently stroked Natsu's back. "'s tot'ly worth 't."

* * *

"Sting Eucliffe, if you don't stop apologizing, I'm going to smother you with a pillow." Natsu glared at his boyfriend, gesturing to cushion on his lap. "This pillow, specifically."

"But- I'm-"

"Don't say it," Natsu warned. The look on Sting's face made his heart hurt. "C'mere, sweetheart."

Sting sighed, settling on the bed next to Natsu and resting carefully on his shoulder. Natsu ran his fingers through Sting's hair, kissing the top of his head.

"I'm fine, love," he murmured. Sting poked the cast on his arm.

"This disagrees," he grumbled. "How's your head?"

Natsu brought his fingers up to the side of his head, where the doctors told him he'd fractured his skull – not serious enough to warrant surgery, but enough to be on bed rest for nearly a week. "Hurts like a bitch," he said honestly. "But I'll live. They gave me the good drugs, remember?"

"Mm." Sting pressed his face into Natsu's shoulder, wrapping an arm around his waist.

"I'm-"

"Don't." Natsu squeezed Sting harder against him. "I should have been watching where I was going. I love you and it wasn't your fault."

Sting didn't reply, and Natsu could feel soft breaths against his throat, slowly evening out until he could tell that Sting was asleep. There was a knock on the door and Gray peeked in, smiling fondly at them.

"Hey, you," he said softly. He settled down on Natsu's other side and reached up, brushing his hair out of his face. "You need some more painkillers?"

Natsu made a face. "Yeah," he said reluctantly. "Hurts."

Gray leaned forward and brushed his lips over Natsu's forehead. "Must be bad if you're admitting it. I'll grab you some of the T3s. You want anything else?"

"Mmm. Do we have any pizza bagels?"

Gray shook his head. "No, but I can pop out and grab some." Natsu raised his eyebrows – usually Gray got on his case about eating 'gross teenage junk.' "You want anything else? I can get that ice cream you like."

Natsu pressed a kiss to Gray's lips. "You're spoiling me," he whispered. Gray let out a soft laugh, reaching up and wiping Natsu's cheeks with his thumb.

"And you're crying," he murmured.

"'s the drugs," Natsu insisted, cheeks flushing. Gray hummed in false agreement, then rested their foreheads together, brushing Natsu's hair away from his face.

"I was really scared," Gray said softly, voice catching. "I thought you- it looked so bad. You had blood- it was everywhere." He pulled Natsu close to him, adding softly, "if it means you're okay, I'll do anything for you."


	2. Chapter 2

"Is Natsu yelling at the laundry?" Sting asked, looking up from his spot on the couch where he was curled up and reading.

"Mm-mn. His mom," Gray replied. He was half asleep, legs across Sting's lap, leaning against the armrest. Tipping his head toward the office, he listened for a minute, then shook his head. "He's talking too fast – I can tell he's talking about us, but not sure what he's saying."

Sting made a sympathetic sound, setting his book down on his stomach as he listened to Natsu's voice get sharper with frustration. After a moment Natsu growled something unintelligible and stomped into the living room. His face transformed from angry to embarrassed when he saw Gray and Sting looking at him over the back of the couch.

"Sorry," he mumbled, shoving his phone in his pocket. "Maan's just being…" He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Trying to guilt me into visiting. I said no unless you could all come, which 'isn't happening'."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," Gray said, reaching out a hand to Natsu. Natsu shook his head, rubbing his face.

"Sorry, I just- I need…" He exhaled sharply, looking up at the ceiling, and Sting could tell he was trying not to cry. "I'm gonna go do the dishes."

Gray and Sting looked at each other with raised eyebrows as Natsu walked back into the kitchen and turned on the tap. "Should we-" Sting started to ask, but Gray shook his head.

"Let's give him some space," he said, standing up and grabbing Sting's hand. "C'mon, let's go to the bedroom."

Sting grinned, setting down his book on the end table and grabbing Gray's hips as Gray pulled him to his feet. "Bedroom, huh?" he said, kissing Gray's neck. Gray sighed happily, leaning into the kiss. "You gonna make out with me?"

"Something like that," Gray murmured.

Five minutes later they were both in their boxers, facing each other on the bed and kissing lazily. Gray ran his hand up and down Sting's side, brushing his thumb over Sting's hip as he nipped at Sting's lower lip.

"You taste good," Gray murmured, humming as Sting's fingers dragged along his scalp.

"Mm. I might have stolen some of the sugar cookies Rogue brought home." Sting smiled against Gray's lips, letting out a soft moan as Gray slipped his thigh between his legs. "Don't t-tell him."

Gray snorted, then kissed Sting deeper, slipping his tongue into Sting's mouth as he pulled Sting against him. Sting's soft noises made Gray shiver, and he was moving to straddle Sting's hips when he heard a cry of 'mother _FUCKER!'_ from the kitchen.

They both sat up quickly, Gray hopping off the bed and shooting Sting a concerned look before hurrying out of the bedroom.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked as he stepped into the kitchen. Natsu was standing in front of the sink, cradling his right hand, which was dripping an alarming amount of blood onto the floor. Gray immediately felt queasy, reaching out to brace himself against the kitchen chair.

"Holy shit, what happened?" Sting exclaimed. Natsu looked up at him, slightly dazed, then turned back to the counter.

"I wanted pudding," he said, voice wavering. He pointed to a pudding cup on the counter, and the sharp knife sitting next to it. "I couldn't get it open, so—"

"You opened it with a _knife?"_ Sting demanded. "Gods, babe, you're an idiot." He grabbed one of the towels that hung on the stove and wrapped it around Natsu's hand, pressing down on the wound. "Didn't we talk about knives?"

"That's… shit, that's lots of…" Gray's voice was shaky and Sting turned to see Gray, face ashen, eyes fixed on the puddle on the floor.

"Gray, don't you da-"

Before Sting could finish his sentence, Gray's eyes fluttered shut and he collapsed, head hitting the table with a sharp _crack_ on the way down.

"Son of a bitch," Sting growled, putting Natsu's uninjured hand over the towel and kneeling down beside Gray. "Sweetheart, hey, look at me." Gray didn't respond and Sting cursed as he saw the deep gash on Gray's forehead. "Pass me another cloth," he said to Natsu, who didn't move, just stood there staring dumbly at the towel around his hand that was slowly turning red.

"It's, uh… I can't feel my fingers," he mumbled.

"Goddamnit." Sting pushed himself to his feet, grabbed the other towel, and moved back to Gray, pressing it against his forehead. "Come sit down." He gestured to one of the chairs and Natsu sat down slowly, numb look changing to a grimace of pain.

"Hurts," he whimpered, then looked down at Gray with concern. "'s he okay?"

"He'll be fine," Sting said reassuringly as Gray groaned a little, blinking slowly and looking up at Sting with confused eyes. "There you go."

"Ow." Gray pushed himself up on his elbows and Sting helped him sit up until he was leaning back against a chair.

"You two are the worst," Sting grumbled, but his voice was affectionate as he checked on Natsu. "Don't move. We need pants, then we'll get you to the hospital."

* * *

"Back so soon?" Loke raised his eyebrow at Natsu, who sighed dramatically. "It's been what, less than a month since you got that cast off your foot?"

"Look-" Natsu started to speak, then trailed off, shaking his head. He looked over at Gray, who was sitting in a chair with his eyes squeezed shut while Loke stitched up Natsu's hand. Natsu watched with fascination as the needle slid in and out of his numb skin.

"Is it over yet?" Gray groaned, pressing his face into Sting's neck. Sting laughed softly, stroking Gray's hair and shaking his head.

"Keep your eyes closed," he replied, looking down at the row of butterfly bandages on Gray's forehead. "I can't believe you're so squeamish about blood."

"'s gross," Gray muttered, fingers tight in Sting's sweater. "Don' like needles."

Loke finished stitching up Natsu's hand and started bandaging it, then glanced over at Sting.

"Was this one your fault too?" he asked jokingly, gesturing at Natsu's hand, and Sting's cheeks turned pink.

"No, he was trying to open a pudding cup with a paring knife because he's an idiot, and he's never allowed near sharp objects again." He glared at Natsu, who gave him a sheepish grin in return.

"I go away for _one day_ and you end up in the hospital _again?"_ Rogue appeared in the doorway, slightly out of breath and looking exhausted. He gave Natsu an exasperated look as Loke finished bandaging Natsu's hand.

"It was an acc-"

"It's _always_ an accident," Rogue sighed, moving closer to Natsu and kissing his forehead. "You really need to be more careful. How'd you manage to drag Gray into this, too?"

"He fainted when he saw blood," Natsu said, giggling a little. Sting sighed and Gray grumbled, keeping his face in Sting's shoulder.

"Can't believe you were the only one who didn't get injured," Rogue remarked, raising an eyebrow at Sting.

"Hey, I resent that," Sting said indignantly. "I was the responsible one! I drove both of them here while they bled all over the damn seats!"

Loke laughed, shaking his head and leaning against the door.

"You're all good to go," he said, jotting something down on his clipboard. "Gray needs to rest for the next few days, and they can both take over-the-counter painkillers as needed. And Natsu, I don't want to see you back here for at _least_ six months, got it?"

Natsu sighed dramatically, letting Rogue pull him into a hug as Loke left the room.

"Can't feel my hand," he said, moving to poke at it. Rogue grabbed Natsu's wrist and shook his head, groaning in exasperation.

"Sweetheart," he said, placing his hands on Natsu's cheeks and forcing Natsu to look at him. "I love you very, very dearly, but you are the clumsiest person I've ever met in my life. The nurses here know you on sight. Please, please _try_ to be more careful, okay?"

Natsu huffed, starting to protest, but Rogue interrupted him with a kiss.

"Next time, I'm not picking you up," Rogue muttered. "Maybe _Loke_ will drive you home."

"Pfff." Natsu kissed Rogue on the nose, then turned to look at Sting and Gray. "You can look now, babe," he said. Gray shook his head, keeping his eyes closed.

"Comfy here," he mumbled. "Head hurts." Sting sighed, resting his cheek against Gray's head and looking up at Rogue.

"All right, c'mon you two," Rogue said, helping Natsu down off the table and wrapping an arm around him. "Let's grab some pizza and head home."

"Pizza!" Natsu brightened, kissing Rogue's cheek. Rogue rolled his eyes as Sting pulled Gray up and the two of them headed out the door.

"The pizza is because I don't want to cook, not because I feel sorry for you," Rogue said, taking Natsu's uninjured hand.

"Aww, you know you love me," Natsu insisted, grinning at Rogue.

"You're lucky I do," Rogue replied as he nudged Natsu out the door. "So please, let's try to stay out of here for a while, okay?"

Natsu laughed, squeezing Rogue's hand and tugging him toward the exit. "Just for you," he said, "I'll do my best."


	3. Chapter 3

Gray glanced over at Natsu – he was curled up in the passenger seat with his knees tucked up to his chest, staring dully out the windshield at the fine, soft flakes of snow that drifted down through the light of the streetlamps. He had been quiet all afternoon. Gray reached over and slipped his hand into Natsu's.

"Love you," Gray said softly, knowing that asking if Natsu was okay would be futile. He knew what was wrong. He and Natsu had spent the afternoon working on Natsu's car with Gray's dad, but the last hour of that Natsu had disappeared, whispering angrily into his phone in Hindi.

"Love you too," Natsu said quietly, pressing a kiss to the back of Gray's hand. "Sorry I'm so grumpy."

"You're not grumpy," Gray insisted, eyes flicking back to the road. He squeezed Natsu's fingers once, then brought his hand back to the steering wheel – the road was icy and he could see a car on the side of the road ahead of them, tow truck ready to pull it away. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Natsu sighed, running a hand over his face. "I dunno," he said. "I thought they would come around, y'know? Erza's been trying to talk to Pita and he's being so… stubborn. It's been eight months. I haven't seen them in such a long time." Natsu's voice broke and he dropped his forehead to his knees, sniffling. "I miss them," he whispered.

"Oh, sweetheart," Gray said sadly. "You know, you don't have to- you can go without us. Or with me, Sting and Rogue wouldn't min-"

"I would mind." Natsu shook his head angrily. "You're all mine, and I'm not going to see them without all of you."

They sat in silence for a while, watching the windshield wipers dislodge the fat, fluffy flakes from the window. Gray was glad they were almost home – Sting could usually make Natsu feel better when he was in these moods. Maybe they'd watch a movie, make some popco—

"Gray, watch out!" Natsu's arm shot out to grab Gray's as a set of headlights swerved in front of them and Gray cursed, tugging the steering wheel. The tires caught on the ice and time seemed to slow. The lights moved closer, Natsu shouted again, Gray slammed on the brakes-

-then there was a sickening crunch, the sound of breaking glass, and nothing but darkness.

* * *

"Babe? Can you grab some wine from the storage room?" Sting stood over the stove, moving between three different pots of pasta and sauces. The kitchen was filled with the smell of basil, and Sting hummed quietly to himself as he peeked into the oven to check on the garlic bread.

Rogue came up behind him, kissing him on the back of the neck, and Sting sighed happily at the gesture.

"Everything's almost done," he said, turning around and catching Rogue around the waist. He glanced over at the clock and frowned. "They'd better be here soon – they should have been home forty-five minutes ago."

"They probably stopped for more pizza pockets," Rogue said, rolling his eyes and kissing Sting gently. "Natsu was complaining that we were out. Plus, if they're late, we get more pasta."

"Good point," Sting said, turning around to the stove when his phone started to ring. He dug into his pocket and Natsu's number flashed up on the call display. "Speak of the- hey babe, we were just wondering where you…"

His expression turned to one of exasperation and mild concern, and Rogue frowned at him.

"Hey Loke, what did he do this ti-" Sting's eyes widened and he leaned back to brace himself against the counter. He exhaled shakily, not looking at Rogue, who couldn't quite hear the conversation. "A-are they okay?"

"What happened?" Rogue demanded, but Sting didn't answer, just brought a hand up to cover his mouth, tears already forming in his eyes.

"Th- we'll be there," Sting said thickly, reaching out and grabbing Rogue's hand. "We'll be right there."

* * *

When they reached the hospital, Sting was already crying – short, heartbroken sobs that he tried to swallow. They both jumped from the car and Rogue grabbed Sting's hand as they rushed into the ER.

"Can I he-"

"Our partners were in an accident," Rogue interrupted the triage nurse, trying to keep his own voice steady. "S-someone called, they said- it's Natsu, a-and Gray…"

"Come sit down," the nurse said gently, standing from her station and gesturing at some chairs in a less crowded area of the ER. Sting shook his head, tugging against Rogue's hand.

"Are they okay- please, I n-need, we-"

"The doctors are with them right now," the nurse said softly. "They came in by ambulance not long ago. Someone will come speak with you soon, but right now you just need to wait."

"B-but-" Sting started to protest, but Rogue placed a hand on his arm and pulled him down into one of the hard, plastic chairs. The nurse gave him a sweet smile, then headed back to her station.

"It's okay," Rogue murmured, wrapping an arm around Sting and trying his hardest not to break down. "Deep breaths. It's gonna be okay."

Sting stared blankly at Rogue for a moment, digging his fingernails into the palms of his hands. He felt dizzy and his thoughts tried to escape to somewhere less terrifying. Had he turned off the stove? Lector was going to jump up and eat the pasta sauce, and then-

"Sweetheart." Rogue's hands were on his cheeks and Sting let out a choked sob, shaking his head. "Sunshine, look at me."

"I c-can't- wh-what if they-"

"Don't." Rogue pressed his forehead to Sting's, rubbing his thumbs over Sting's temples. "We don't know how bad it is, and it's not going to do any good to think like that."

"I can't help it," Sting sniffed, wiping at his eyes. "Th-"

"Hey. Let's focus on what we _can_ do." Rogue said, wiping at Sting's tears. "We should call Mika and Silver, and Erza, and..." he trailed off, looking down at his phone. "Natsu's parents."

An hour later, Rogue was asleep against Sting's shoulder, folded halfway in the chair, while Sting flipped numbly through the apps on his phone. A gentle voice saying his name broke him out of his stupor, and he looked up to see Silver and Mika standing in front of them.

"Dad," Sting whispered, voice breaking as he nudged Rogue and stood up, letting Silver pull him into a tight hug. Mika sat down next to Rogue and took his hand, and Sting felt himself starting to cry again as Silver held him tightly.

"Have you heard anything?" Mika asked. Her cheeks were blotchy and red, and her hand shook in Rogue's. Sting shook his head, not letting go of Silver. "Wh-what happened?"

"Th-the person on the phone said they got h-hit by a drunk driver," Sting whispered. "H-he couldn't tell me what- how b-bad, but nobody's s-saying anything and I just wanna _see them."_ He cried against Silver's chest as Silver stroked his hair comfortingly.

"It'll- they'll be okay," Mika said, her voice rough and uncertain. Rogue wrapped an arm around her, sighing as he looked down at his phone.

"Natsu's parents are flying in," he said quietly. Sting either didn't hear him or ignored the statement, and Rogue didn't blame him. They'd never met Natsu's parents – who lived in Vancouver – but Rogue knew that Natsu fought with them on a regular basis about his relationship with the three of them.

The sounds of the waiting room went on around them in the background – children crying, people coughing, machines beeping. Sting eventually stopped crying and pulled back from Silver, who sighed and squeezed his arm.

"C'mon, let's go get some coffee," Silver said roughly. Sting shook his head, wiping his face.

"Wh-what if they-"

"I'll text you," Rogue said, reaching up and grabbing Sting's hand. "Go for a walk. We can't do anything here."

Sting looked uncertain, but eventually nodded, making sure the ringer of his phone was turned all the way up before following Silver out of the ER and towards the cafeteria.

* * *

"Gray's going to be fine." Loke tried to give them a reassuring smile as they stood in Gray's hospital room, but it was thin and didn't quite reach his eyes. Gray was still asleep, left arm in a cast, face bruised and decorated with small cuts. Mika sat in a chair next to the bed, stroking Gray's hair and whispering something to him.

"What..." Sting trailed off, too exhausted to ask questions.

"He fractured his wrist, and it seems the airbag deployment broke a couple of his ribs as well," Loke explained, looking over at the doctor who was adjusting something next to the bed. "The rest is minor bruising and abrasions, as well as a nasty concussion. He should wake up soon."

Sting felt a small bit of the tension in his chest relax, and he stepped closer to the bed, slipping his hand into Gray's uninjured one.

"Wh-what about Natsu?" Rogue asked quietly. The doctor – whose name tag read _Dr Gillespie_ – gave Rogue a look that immediately made Sting's panic reappear.

"He's still in surgery," Doctor Gillespie said slowly. "His injuries were... much more severe. The surgeon can come talk to you once Natsu is moved to the ICU."

"The..." Silver's face was hard and he crossed his arms over his chest, giving the doctor a worried look. "Is he-"

"I don't have much information," the doctor said apologetically. "He'll be in surgery for a while longer, but someone will come get you as soon as he's out. In the meantime, you can stay here with Gray."

Loke gave Rogue's arm a sympathetic squeeze as he followed Doctor Gillespie out of the room.

Sting moved up and ran his fingers over Gray's cheek, avoiding the tiny cuts that were left behind from the shattered windshield. A hot, intense anger boiled up in his chest and he ground his teeth, digging his nails into his palm.

"The- person who, who hit them," he said slowly, brushing Gray's hair out of his face. "D-did... what h-happened?"

Silver sighed, sitting down in the chair next to Mika as Rogue moved over to stand next to Sting.

"The police wouldn't say much," he admitted, resting his hand on his son's arm. "She wasn't badly hurt - just some scrapes and bruises. She's in custody now."

"That fucking _bitch,"_ Sting snarled. Silver and Mika looked up in surprise at the look of anger on Sting's normally mild face. Rogue squeezed Sting's hand, then wrapped an arm around him. "She- fuck, I wanna-"

"Hey," Rogue whispered, kissing Sting's cheek. "I know you're angry, but-"

"Angry?" Sting's jaw tightened as he looked down at Gray's bruised face, his broken arm, the IV in his hand. "I'm past angry. This is- I'm, I can't even- how _dare_ she, and she-" He pulled away from Rogue, stalking over to the corner of the room and running his hands through his hair.

"Sweethea-"

"Don't." Sting shook his head as Rogue tried to step towards him. "Don't, I c-can't, I'm..." He swallowed hard, running his hands through his hair in frustration. _"Fuck,_ just..." He choked back an angry sob and swore, his words quickly devolving into a quiet diatribe in German.

Rogue looked on helplessly, glancing between Gray and Sting. Natsu was always the one who was best at calming Sting down, but-

But Natsu might not be okay.

Rogue wrapped his arms around himself as a fresh wave of tears streaked down his face, and Sting looked up at him, face falling.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," he whispered, stepping back over to Rogue and pulling him into a tight hug. "I'm sorry, love, I just- I wanna see him. I need- what if..."

"Don't say it," Rogue begged, shaking against Sting's chest. "Please."

Sting didn't respond, just pressed his cheek to Rogue's hair and stared at Gray, still and silent in the bed. Gray was okay, Gray was going to wake up, but the relief Sting felt was dulled by the terror that occupied every corner of his body.

What if Natsu was gone?


	4. Chapter 4

Sting drifted in and out of sleep, curled up beside Gray on the hospital bed. Loke had looked the other way when he'd come in to check Gray's vitals an hour or so ago, and Sting figured that if they wanted to take him away from Gray, they could sure as hell try.

When Gray's chest shifted under Sting's head several hours later, Sting was instantly awake. He sat up and watched Gray's eyes flutter open, nearly crying as relief flooded through him.

"Hey, love," he said quietly, touching Gray's cheek as Gray's eyes moved around the room and focused slowly on Sting. Gray frowned, then looked down at their entwined fingers. "How're you feeling?"

Rogue and Mika, who had both been sleeping against the side of the bed, stirred at the sound of Sting's voice. Mika looked up at Gray and reached out to him, running her fingers through his hair as he slowly moved his gaze over to her.

 _"Tu vas bien,"_ she murmured, kissing his forehead. "Oh, _tresor,_ we were so worried."

"M-maman?" Gray mumbled, hand shaking in Sting's. _"Qu...qu'est-il arrivé?"_ He glanced down at Rogue, who squeezed Gray's leg and then stood, nodding to Sting that he was going to grab the nurse. "Wh..."

"You're in the hospital," Sting said gently, bringing Gray's hand to his lips and kissing his knuckles. "You were in an accident. Do you remember what happened?" Gray winced, letting go of Sting's hand and bringing his fingers up to touch his chest.

"Don't," Mika chided, taking Gray's hand. "Do you need something for the pain?"

"F-for..." Gray trailed off, looking confused.

"It's okay, sweetheart," Sting said, brushing Gray's hair out of his face. "You're okay now. We're here." His voice broke a little and he couldn't help himself – he leaned forward and pulled Gray into a gentle hug, careful of his broken ribs. "I love you so much," he whispered.

Gray wrapped an arm around Sting hesitantly, exhaling as he leaned his forehead against Sting's shoulder. "Sting?" he asked, voice small and confused.

"Yeah," Sting whispered, pressing a soft kiss to Gray's cheek. "I'm here. You're gonna be okay."

Gray remained somewhat confused and disoriented when Loke appeared to check on him, taking his vitals and giving him more pain medication. By the time Loke left, Silver had returned, and was now sitting next to Gray, holding his hand.

"Do you remember what happened?" Silver asked when Gray looked over at him. Gray closed his eyes, wincing and shaking his head.

"I- we were-" Then his eyes flew open and he looked quickly around the room. "Natsu." He was sitting up now, the bed raised and pillows propped behind him, but he tried to sit up further and Silver stopped him.

"We can't see him yet," Silver said gently.

"Wh-why not?" Gray's voice was frantic, suddenly, and his eyes flicked pleadingly to Sting and Rogue. "He- no, he was- there was a car, it was- and then the ice, _et c'était glissant... l'autre auto, ils nous ont frappé?"_

"Yes, the other car hit you," Mika said gently. Gray made a soft, wounded sound and brought his uninjured hand up to his head.

 _"Où est-il?"_ he asked, voice small. Sting tried not to let the grief show on his face when Gray looked up at him, but he could tell he wasn't successful when Gray's breath hitched.

"He's in surgery," Rogue said gently, squeezing Gray's knee. Gray's eyes filled with tears and he looked at his father desperately.

"I tried to talk to a few people, but they wouldn't tell me much," Silver said apologetically. "I know the surgeon, I've worked with him at my hospital, and... he's a neurosurgeon." Gray started to cry and Sting pulled him into an embrace, stroking Gray's hair and settling beside him on the bed again. "He's the best one I know," Silver added carefully, "so Natsu's in good hands."

"Fuck," Gray whispered, burying his face in Sting's shoulder. "This is m-"

"If you even _think_ about saying this was your fault..." Sting pulled back a bit and looked down at Gray's tear-stained, bruised face. "The person who hit you was drunk. It was her fault and only hers. You didn't do anything wrong."

Gray shook his head and Sting kissed his forehead, and after a moment Rogue joined the embrace from the other side of the bed.

"He's gonna be okay," Sting whispered, voice breaking, unsure if he believed his own words. Gray needed to hear them, though. "We're gonna be okay."

* * *

When they were finally summoned to the ICU, Sting was so exhausted that the doctor's explanations of Natsu's condition went right over his head. Words like _subdural hematoma, intracranial pressure,_ and _craniotomy_ floated around the room, with Silver asking most of the questions while Sting and Rogue sat quietly, holding hands so tightly it hurt. Mika had remained behind with Gray, who still wasn't allowed out of bed.

"Is Natsu, is he- is he awake?" Sting asked finally, his voice barely a whisper.

The doctor – Doctor Krantz – sighed, tapping the table. "No," she said eventually, voice gentle. "He's not. The surgery relieved some of the pressure, but there's still significant damage. Our brains are complicated structures, and there's no easy or clear fix for these sorts of things."

Rogue squeezed Sting's hand, then hesitantly asked what they had all been thinking. "Is he- will he wake up?"

Sting felt like he was going to be sick when Doctor Krantz didn't answer right away. The room was uncomfortably small, suddenly, and it hurt to breathe. Sting could feel tears spilling down his cheeks again. This wasn't real. This couldn't be happening – he'd seen Natsu just this morning, kissed him awake, made love to him, traced the lines of his body with gentle fingertips.

"That's not something we're able to say with any certainty," Doctor Krantz replied eventually. "I'm sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear. Brain injuries are very complicated, and everyone responds differently."

"Can we- I want to see him." Sting's voice was rough, and he wiped at his face. "Please."

"Of course." Doctor Krantz gave them a sympathetic look. "Just keep in mind that it might be overwhelming – there's a lot going on, lots of wires and machines, and it might look scary. Just know that we're doing everything we can for him."

"Thank you," Rogue whispered. He looked up at Silver, who shook his head and gestured at them.

"You two go first," he said gently, squeezing Rogue's shoulder. "Dr Krantz and I have a bit to talk about."

Sting felt numb as they followed another nurse down the hallway, and the sights and sounds and colors around him blurred together until they were standing next to Natsu's bed.

"Oh, sweetheart," Rogue murmured, gently touching Natsu's hair. Sting felt like he couldn't breathe as his eyes jumped over the machines, the tubes, the bandages, the needles. Natsu looked so small, buried beneath everything, face scraped and bruised.

"C-can he hear us?" Sting asked the nurse, who gave him a gentle smile.

"A lot of research says yes," she replied, adjusting one of the machines and stepping back from the bed. "It can't hurt."

Sting brushed his fingers gently across Natsu's forehead, then touched one of the spots on his arm that wasn't bandaged or poked with needles. It was quiet around them, save for the beeping of machines and the soft hiss of the ventilator.

"We're here," Sting whispered, running his thumb gently over Natsu's arm. "We love you so much, you're gonna get through this."

Rogue wrapped an arm around Sting, leaning their heads together. Sting realized suddenly that he had no idea what time it was. How long ago had they left the apartment, door slamming behind them as they tore down the stairs to the parking lot?

"Gray's okay," Rogue said, his voice dragging Sting back to the present. "He's gonna come see you as soon as they let him out of bed."

They stood in silence for a while, just touching Natsu gently while holding onto each other.

"Gray always gets after you for being 'obstinate' and 'difficult'," Sting said eventually, voice soft. "And he's not wrong, so- so I know you can do this. You're too stubborn to- to-"

Sting's voice caught in his throat and Rogue pulled him closer, tucking Sting's head under his chin. The words refused to come, and Sting thought maybe that was a good thing. Maybe if he didn't say it, it wouldn't come true.

* * *

"Gray!" The shout jerked Gray awake and he winced as consciousness flooded back to him, and with it, a million little hurts. His arm ached, his chest burned, and his head felt like it was going to explode. He blinked slowly and looked around the room for the source of the sound.

"Lyon?" He asked groggily. His brother was in the door to the room, eyes wide and cheeks red.

 _"Espèce d'idiot,"_ Lyon breathed, rushing over to the bed and leaning down to pull Gray into a hug. Gray winced, but wrapped his uninjured arm around Lyon, leaning into the uncharacteristic affection. _"J'étais si inquièt,_ I'm so sorry it took me so long to get here, I was out of town for work and-"

"Hey." Gray interrupted him, pulling back and gesturing for Lyon to sit down on the bed next to him. Mika was asleep on the bench, using Silver's jacket as a pillow. "Don't wake up maman, she's exhausted."

"What happened?" Lyon asked, hands hovering uncertainly until Gray grabbed one, holding it tightly. "Papa didn't tell me much, just that there was an accident. Is Natsu okay?"

The question hit Gray hard and he felt breathless – for a minute, he'd forgotten about everything. He squeezed Lyon's hand and shook his head, the knot in his chest tightening.

"They- papa and Sting and Rogue are in the ICU now, talking to the doctors." Gray tipped his head back against the bed, sighing. He felt like crying, but had nothing left to give. "It was- it's bad."

"I'm so sorry," Lyon said softly, putting his other hand over Gray's and squeezing tightly. They were never affectionate – not like this – but there was no way that Gray was letting go. "Is there anything I can do?"

Gray shook his head. "I don't know," he said. "I'm still- my head hurts like hell, it's hard to focus. I wanna s-see him but they won't let me out of bed yet."

Lyon didn't say anything, just looked at Gray with a sad intensity that Gray had never seen in his brother before.

"What?" Gray asked, pushing himself up a bit and groaning. "Do I look that bad?"

 _"T'as l'air comme d'la merde,"_ Lyon replied, the corner of his lip lifting in a hint of a smile. "Worse than that time you fell face-first down the hill off your sled."

Gray let out a puff of laughter, reaching up and touching his cheek. "I haven't looked in a mirror yet," he admitted. "Don't really want to."

They sat in silence for a long while, and Gray had nearly fallen back asleep when Lyon squeezed his hand.

"Lemme help," Lyon said, pulling out his phone. "What do you need? Can I call your work? I can go check on the cats, or let your friends know. Did someone call Erza?"

"Yeah," Gray said sleepily. "She should be here… tomorrow? I dunno what time it is. But- yeah, if you could call Todd, let him know I'm not coming in tomorrow." He sighed ruefully. "Maybe for a while."

"I'll take care of it," Lyon said, tapping some notes into his phone, then sighing and looking at Gray. "I know we don't say it much, but – I love you. _Je t'aime."_ He leaned forward and hugged Gray again, and Gray swallowed heavily, pressing his face into Lyon's shoulder.

"Thank you," Gray whispered, wishing he could cry. _"Je t'aime aussi."_

* * *

 **French Translations**

Tu vas bien = You're okay  
Tresor = treasure (nickname for kids)  
qu'est-il arrivé? = what happened?  
et c'était glissant... l'autre auto, ils nous ont frappé? = and it was icy... the other car, it hit us?  
Où est-il? = Where is he?  
Espèce d'idiot = you stupid idiot (affectionately)  
J'étais si inquièt = I was so worried  
T'as l'air comme d'la merde = You look like shit


	5. Chapter 5

Gray heard Igneel before he saw him – Natsu's uncle was as loud as he was large, and his voice filled the hospital hallway as he greeted Silver. Miya stood up from beside Gray's bed and moved to embrace Igneel as he entered the room.

"Hey, kiddo." Igneel leaned down and pulled Gray into a gentle hug. "I'm glad you're okay." He sat down next to the bed, tipping Gray's head to look at him. "Well, as okay as you can be."

"Mm." Gray had looked in the mirror when Mika had helped him to the washroom earlier, and he'd instantly regretted it. The entire left side of his jaw was swollen and purple, and a series of butterfly bandages closed up a deep cut on his right cheek.

"I talked to the nurse on my way up," Igneel said gently. "She said if you go in a wheelchair, we can go see Natsu."

Gray's first instinct was to protest that no, he did not need a goddamn wheelchair, his legs worked just fine, but the exhausted part of him gave in without complaint. He nodded silently, unable to push out words of thanks past the lump in his throat. Igneel didn't seem to mind – he just squeezed Gray's hand and turned back to talk quietly to Silver and Mika.

Twenty minutes later, Silver was wheeling Gray into the ICU, past the front desk and into the quiet, dark room where Natsu was being kept alive by an array of machinery. A flood of sensations knocked the wind out of Gray as he reached out to touch Natsu's hand.

 _…tires squealing, Natsu's shout, glass shattering, blood in his eyes, pain, flashing lights, sirens wailing, voices shouting before everything we-_

"Gray." Igneel squeezed Gray's shoulder and he exhaled, shaking away the breathless sensation.

"Hey, sweetheart," Gray said quietly, reaching up and running his fingers gently through Natsu's hair. _"Tabarnac, je suis désolé…"_

"Don't apologize," Igneel interrupted, sitting down next to Gray. Gray looked at him, surprised, and he let out a soft laugh. "I don't need to speak French to know what you're saying. You always blame yourself when things go bad. It wasn't your fault."

"I just…" Gray could feel the tears again, and when Igneel pulled Gray close to him, Gray couldn't stop them from falling. "I know- I know that, but it doesn't… you could say it a hundred times and I still feel like…"

"I know." Igneel rested his head against Gray's as he looked at Natsu. "You know he wouldn't- he won't blame you, though, right?"

Gray sighed, rubbing his thumb over Natsu's temple. All he could see was the look of terror on Natsu's face as the tires had caught on the ice and the other car's headlights had come closer and closer…

"I know," he whispered. "I know that, I just…" He leaned forward against the bed, trying to conjure up the brilliant smile he loved so much. Everything ached, and now that he'd started crying, he couldn't stop. "I'm so scared," he whispered, burying his face in his arms.

Igneel was quiet for a minute, resting his hand in the middle of Gray's back. After a moment, Gray felt Igneel place something soft in front of him, and he looked up to see Natsu's familiar black-and-white scarf – the one he'd left at Igneel's last month.

"I gave that to him when he was fifteen," Igneel said, tucking the fabric into Natsu's hand. "He showed up at my house one night – he'd come out to his parents and it hadn't gone well, so he hitchhiked all the way from Vancouver. This was back when I lived in Calgary, and it was probably minus thirty with the windchill, and he showed up in nothing but a hoodie and a pair of sneakers."

"Idiot," Gray muttered, letting out a wet laugh. "He-he never wears a winter jacket, he'd probably wear flip-flops in December if I didn't hide them." Igneel hummed in agreement and Gray ran his fingers over the familiar black-and-white pattern.

They sat in silence for a while, and Gray felt exhaustion tugging him down as he rested his head on the scarf. It still smelled like Natsu – like the fruity shampoo he used that Gray always teased him for.

Gray was almost asleep when he heard Igneel speaking quietly – it was Hindi, and it sounded like a prayer. The words weren't familiar to Gray, but the cadence was gentle and soothing.

"He's been through a lot of tough stuff," Igneel said eventually, resting his hand on Natsu's ankle. "And he's going to make it through this too."

* * *

Gray woke up to the sensation of the bed shifting, and he cracked an eye open to see Sting settling down next to him.

"What're you doin' back here?" he mumbled. Sting didn't reply, just shuffled up carefully next to Gray and slipped under his arm, resting his head on Gray's chest.

Gray frowned, looking at the clock. It was almost dinnertime, and they'd been at the hospital for nearly two days now. Sting was supposed to be up with Natsu – Rogue had gone to grab a coffee in the cafeteria with Igneel and Gray's parents, and Gray was waiting to be officially discharged.

"You're not supposed to be up on the bed," Gray chided half-heartedly. Sting didn't reply, and Gray nudged Sting as best he could with his uninjured arm. "What's wrong?" Sting just shook his head and pressed his face against Gray's shirt.

"'m okay," Sting mumbled, but Gray could hear tears behind his voice. "Just wanna cuddle."

"Sweetheart, what's the matter?" Gray ran his fingers through Sting's hair, even though the angle was awkward. "Hey, look at me. Why aren't you with Natsu?"

Sting mumbled something that sounded oddly like _he's busy,_ and Gray frowned, suddenly concerned.

"Did something happen? Are the doctors there?"

Sting sat up, wiping his face and shaking his head. "No, sorry, I didn't mean- no, it's okay." He sniffled a bit, squeezing his eyes shut and sighing shakily. "Sorry, I didn't mean to-to…"

"What's the matter?" Gray asked again, reaching out and brushing his thumb over Sting's cheek.

"He's just- there's other people," Sting mumbled, not meeting Gray's eyes.

"Other- who?" Gray shuffled a bit more until he was sitting up completely, and tried to ignore the itch beneath his cast. "From work?" Sting shook his head and Gray's eyes widened in realization. "His parents are here."

Sting nodded, playing with a loose thread on his hoodie sleeve, and Gray could tell that he was trying not to cry.

"Did they say something to you?" Gray asked, voice suddenly much lower. He took Sting's hand in his gently and squeezed it, and when Sting didn't say anything, Gray clenched his teeth. "Sweetheart, what did they say?"

Sting sighed miserably, dragging his thumb over Gray's fingers.

"H-his dad…" Sting trailed off and Gray squeezed his hand. "H-he… I sh-shouldn't have said I was Natsu's b-boyfriend, I f-forgot that they d-don't like us a-and h-his mom was just so s-sad and-" Sting cut himself off, choking on his words.

"What did his dad say?" Gray's chest ached and it wasn't just the broken ribs – he knew Natsu's father, knew how cutting his words could be when he chose to be unkind.

"Th-that I h-had to go and h-he… I sh-shouldn't come back 'cause they d-didn't want m-me interfering." Sting's eyes were filled with tears and one slipped down his cheek. He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed at his cheeks dejectedly.

"That son of a- _osti d'enfoiré, criss de fils de pute-"_ Gray growled, letting go of Sting's hand and pushing himself off the bed. He wobbled a bit and Sting put out a hand to steady him.

"It's- don't, it's okay-"

"It is NOT okay," Gray said, grabbing Sting's shoulder and ducking his head until Sting was looking into his eyes. "He has absolutely no right to talk to you like that. Natsu is _our_ partner, and his parents can't make you leave just because they don't like that."

"B-but I-"

"Come with me right now," Gray growled. He held onto Sting's arm for balance and gestured to the door. "I have some things I need to say, and he's gonna listen."

* * *

The limit of visitors in the ICU was two, so Gray and Sting waited out in the hallway until Natsu's parents came back out. As soon as Maya saw Gray her face softened, but Sanjay wasn't close behind, and he looked much less welcoming.

"Come with me," Gray said quietly as soon as they got close. "We need to talk."

"You can't-" Sanjay started to speak, but Gray glared at him so hard that it gave Sting chills.

"I said, come with me." Then Gray turned on his heel and let Sting help him down the hallway.

They came to a waiting area not far away that was empty, and Gray turned around, sighing and rubbing his eyes before looking at Natsu's parents.

"Apologize," he said, looking at Sanjay. "Now."

"I will not-"

"You absolutely will." Gray squeezed Sting's hand and looked over at Maya. "You don't get to choose who is in Natsu's life. You haven't seen him in almost a year, and that is _your_ fault."

"Gray, we have invited-"

"I don't want to hear it," Gray said firmly. Sting tried to take a step backward but Gray held tight to his hand – Sting wasn't sure if it was for balance or to keep him close. "I've been next to him every single time he's talked to you on the phone. I know exactly what those conversations are about."

"You can't talk to me-"

"I can talk to you however I want." Gray interrupted Sanjay. "You've disrespected me, and Sting, and Natsu, and you will _apologize_ or you will leave."

A cold silence hung between the four of them, and Sting wanted to shrink back from the angry look on Sanjay's face, but Gray stood his ground, gripping Sting's hand so tightly it hurt.

"Gray, we are just as concerned about Natsu as you are." Maya spoke up quietly, putting up her hands in a placating gesture. "We don't want to fight."

"Then apologize." Gray gave her the same hard stare, then shook his head in disbelief. "He could- fuck, there's a good chance he could _die,_ and this bullshit is all you care about? That phone call could be the last time you ever talk to him." Sting felt like he'd been punched in the chest. "Can you live with that?"

"Gray, I am his _mother-"_

"And I can't even _begin_ to express to you how much I do not care," Gray growled. "You haven't been in his life in nearly a year. I have. Sting has. Rogue has. So if you think you can play that card, you can fuck right off."

Maya's face crumpled and she shook her head, eyes flicking from Gray to Sting and back to Gray again. "We just don't understand."

"You don't have to understand." Gray said quietly. "You have to respect it. We're his family, too. And we're the ones making decisions for him while he's here – we have legal paperwork to back that up."

Sanjay's face hardened, but he didn't interrupt, and Gray didn't back down.

"When- if- _when_ he w-wakes up…" Gray swallowed heavily. "What do you think he'd say? To know that he w-was _d-dying_ and all you cared about was _this?"_

"You're right." Maya's voice was small as looked at Sting, who chewed his lip uncertainly. "I am… sorry."

Sting blinked in surprise, then stammered out, "It- it's oka-"

"No, it's not okay," Gray said once again, squeezing Sting's hand. "But thank you for apologizing." He looked up at Sanjay, who sighed and shook his head.

"This… arrangement," he said slowly. "It is unna-"

"Stop." Gray let go of Sting's hand and rubbed his face. Sting could tell he was exhausted, and he wrapped an arm around Gray's waist to keep him steady. "I might already lose someone I love," Gray choked out, voice thick with tears. "And if you _ever_ speak to one of my partners – to one of _Natsu's_ partners – like that ever again, you won't be allowed back in the hospital, never mind his room." Gray gave Sanjay a hard look. "Do I make myself clear?"

"We will be kinder with our words," Maya said quickly, taking Sanjay's hand and tugging on it. "I am sorry again. We are- we all want Natsu to get well."

Gray nodded, rubbing angrily at the tears on his cheeks. Sting squeezed him tightly.

"He would want us to g-get along," Sting said quietly, looking at the floor. "I k-know you don't understand b-but I love your son, and he d-deserves to wake up to see all the people who love him."

Sanjay didn't say anything, just took Maya's hand and turned around. She gave Sting and Gray one last sad look, then followed her husband as he led her away and out of the hospital.

As soon as they were out of sight, Gray collapsed against Sting, turning and burying his face in Sting's neck as he let out a harsh sob. Sting sighed, pulling Gray down into one of the chairs and wrapping both arms around him.

"Shhh, I've got you," Sting murmured, running his hand up and down Gray's back.

"I hate this," Gray said shakily, clinging to Sting's shirt with one hand. "I'm s-so tired and my head hurts, my arm hurts, everything hurts and I just want Natsu to _wake up."_ His shoulders shook under Sting's arms and Sting dropped his head to Gray's shoulder, unable to hold back his own tears.

"I know," Sting whispered, holding Gray tightly. There was nothing else he could say. There was no _it's okay,_ no _he'll be fine,_ no _tomorrow will be better._ There was just now, just this, just the circle of his arms holding their grief and pain.

* * *

 **French Translations**

Tabarnac, je suis désolé = Fuck, I'm sorry  
osti d'enfoiré, criss de fils de pute = fucking son of a bitch


	6. Chapter 6

When they finally got home, the apartment was cold and dark. Sting kicked off his shoes, then headed into the kitchen and flicked on the lights.

"You hungry?" Rogue asked, running his hand over Sting's back as he opened the door to the fridge. Sting scanned the shelves dully, then shrugged. Rogue sighed, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "What about you, love?" Rogue asked, turning to Gray.

Gray was still standing in the doorway, uninjured arm crossed over his stomach, eyes on the floor. Sting made a sad sound and moved over, touching Gray's chin and trying to get him to make eye contact.

"Hey," he said softly, rubbing his thumb over Gray's cheek. "What can I do?"

Gray shrugged, movement sluggish, and refused to look up. Sting sighed, looking over at Rogue with a concerned frown. Rogue looked at them sadly.

"Why don't you help Gray shower?" he suggested gently. "I'll make some tea."

Sting nodded, taking Gray's elbow and leading him gently toward the bathroom. Gray didn't look Sting in the eyes as Sting turned on the water, then helped Gray take off the sling. It wasn't until Sting started to unbutton Gray's shirt that he realized Gray was crying.

"Hey," Sting whispered, cupping Gray's face in his hands. Gray shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to pull away from Sting. "Don't do that, love," Sting said, voice firm but gentle. "C'mon. You'll feel better after a shower."

Gray didn't say anything, just let Sting undress him and guide him into the shower. He sighed as the hot water trailed over the cuts and bruises. Sting's fingers found their way into Gray's hair, lathering it up with soap and combing through it gently.

When the water ran red down Gray's chest, Sting blinked, then realized he was rinsing dried blood from Gray's hair. Gray looked like he was going to be sick, and Sting rubbed his back comfortingly, kissing his temple.

"C'mere," Sting said quietly, brushing back Gray's hair from his face and gently running soapy fingers over the parts of his face that weren't cut or bruised.

Gray followed Sting's instructions numbly, stepping out of the shower and letting Sting dress him in sweatpants and a zip-up hoodie. Sting dried Gray's hair, then led him out to the couch and settled him in the corner, cuddling up next to him and pulling the blanket over them both.

* * *

They sat in silence for a long time, Sting running his fingers through Gray's hair and kissing his temple while they listened to Rogue make tea in the kitchen. Eventually Gray tried to speak.

"It shou- I can- h-he…" Gray tried to make words, but he couldn't force them past the thick lump in his throat. Rogue appeared in front of him, setting the tea on the coffee table and then crouching down in front of Gray. It felt safe – warm, closed in by the people he loved.

Most of the people he loved.

"I'm s-sorry." Gray couldn't hold it back anymore and he let out a soft sob. He tried to tug his hands out of Rogue's, but Rogue tightened his grip, shaking his head.

"You don't have anything to be so-"

"It was s-so fast an-and I sh-should have gone th-the other, the other w-way, and I c-couldn't- it was- and th-the light, an-" The words didn't make sense, just disjoined thoughts connected by heartbroken sobs.

"It wasn't your fault," Sting said quietly. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I c-could have t-turned the oth-oth-othe-"

"And then you'd be there and Natsu would be here and nothing would be better," Rogue said firmly. "There was nothing you could have done."

Gray curled up as much as he could, his chest aching as he cried. His mind was so full _– tires squealing, glass shattering, the sharp crack of bones breaking. A splash of blood across the window. Red-and-blue lights. Someone screaming, doors slamming, everything blurring together as-_

"Gray, sweetheart, look at me." Rogue's voice broke through the sensations and Gray shivered, eyes flicking up to meet Rogue's dark ones. Rogue looked so tired. "It wasn't your fault. What happened wasn't fair."

Gray made a soft, sad sound and turned to bury his face in Sting's neck. The movement hurt his ribs and he groaned in pain as Sting wrapped gentle arms around him.

"Hurts," he mumbled, squeezing Rogue's hand.

"I know," Rogue said, standing up. "Lemme get you something."

The rest of the evening was spent mostly in silence. The three of them sat on the couch while Sting flipped through shows on Netflix, finally settling on 'Planet Earth', although none of them were really watching it. Every time one of their phones buzzed, they all jumped, faces hopeful, only to realize it was someone from work, or Silver calling to ask how they were doing.

* * *

Eventually they ended up in the bedroom, Rogue helping Gray get comfortable with a pillow for his arm while Sting brushed his teeth. Sting stared at his reflection in the mirror and sighed, spitting out his toothpaste. He turned off the bathroom light and headed into the bedroom, then stopped short.

Gray was on his side of the bed, curled up with pillows surrounding him, already fast asleep. Rogue was on the other side of the room, tugging off his jeans and switching into his sweatpants, and Natsu-

Instead of Natsu lying in the middle of the bed where he usually was, there was nothing. No silly grin, no arms open to wrap around Sting, nobody to tease Gray about being too hot or Rogue about being too antisocial. Nobody to cuddle up to Sting and make him feel safe and loved as he drifted off to sleep.

The middle of the bed was empty, and Sting sat down slowly, breath rushing out of him like he'd been punched in the chest.

Natsu wasn't here.

"Hey." Rogue knelt down next to Sting, grabbing his hand and sighing. "C'mere, sweetheart."

Sting threw himself against Rogue, burying his face in Rogue's shoulder and crying into the fabric of his shirt, trying not to wake up Gray. He dug his fingers into Rogue's back, as if holding him tight would keep both of them from falling apart.

"I miss him so much," Sting sobbed, pushing tears past the aching tightness in his chest. "I w-wanna go back there, and sit with h-him, and I'm s-so scared that s-something will happen, and then- it'll be…"

"I know," Rogue said, voice thick with tears. "I know, I'm sorry baby, I wish I could make it better."

Rogue lay down, not in Natsu's spot but close to it, and tugged Sting towards him, wrapping Sting up in his arms and holding him tightly. Sting curled up against Rogue, both of them trembling with grief as they cried themselves to sleep.

* * *

Sting woke up slowly in a tight circle of arms, and a warm sense of contentment spread through his chest. The sun was already up, spilling through the blinds and making patterns on the wall, and Sting yawned, rubbing his eyes. He nuzzled into Natsu's neck, humming softly at the scent of-

The sense of safety shattered as he slowly realized that it was Rogue's arms around him, not Natsu's.

"Fuck," he whispered, wrapping his arm around Rogue and hugging him tightly. Rogue mumbled in his sleep but didn't wake, and the ache in Sting's chest spread and spread until he couldn't stand it anymore. He disentangled himself from Rogue and sat up, looking over at Gray, who was still fast asleep.

Sting wiped at his face, standing up and reaching for the sweater that lay on top of the dresser. His hand hovered over it for a second, then he glanced over to the laundry basket. One of Natsu's hoodies was in there, near the top, and after a moment's hesitation, Sting moved over and grabbed it.

It still smelled like Natsu, and Sting's heart hurt as he closed his eyes and pretended he was pressing a kiss to Natsu's neck instead of muffling a sob in his discarded sweater. He wanted to sink to the floor and cry, but he forced himself to pull the hoodie over his head and slip out of the bedroom instead. Gray and Rogue needed to sleep.

The apartment was silent. Sting's feet brought him to the kitchen and his hands went through the motions of turning on the coffee pot, filling it with water, getting out two mugs and then angrily putting one of them back into the cupboard before he could start crying again. He steadfastly ignored the pile of sticky notes around the toaster that read _do not set past two,_ and _actually Natsu just don't touch it,_ and a third that said _ask a grown up for help._

Sting stared out the window as the coffee brewed. Everything felt numb – like that time he'd taken too much Ativan after an anxiety attack and hadn't felt like a real person for days. He almost wanted it to hurt.

Rogue and Gray woke up nearly an hour later, and Sting made his way back into the bedroom when he heard them talking. They all exchanged silent kisses, then Sting grabbed some clean clothes for Gray and helped him get dressed. Gray was quiet as Sting zipped up his sweater, not even wincing when Sting shifted his broken arm.

"Love you," Sting said softly, kissing Gray's cheek and brushing his hair behind his ear. Rogue sat next to Gray, holding his uninjured hand. Gray's gaze was vacant, looking past Sting to the pattern on the rug.

"What can we do, love?" Rogue murmured, bringing Gray's hand to his lips and kissing it.

Gray didn't respond, but his breath caught in his throat as his eyes filled with tears. Sting sighed, pressing his forehead to Gray's and wrapping his arms around Gray's shoulders.

"Do you need something for the pain?" Rogue asked gently. Gray shook his head. "C'mon, sweetheart. Look at me."

Gray slowly brought his gaze up from the floor, not-quite-looking at Rogue.

"I want- we- we n-need…" Gray's voice was shaky and tears trailed down his face. Sting wiped them away, then curled his fingers gently around the back of Gray's neck. "I d-don't… I f-feel so, p-please…"

"I know," Sting said, tipping Gray's chin up until Gray looked at him. "It hurts a lot, but we've got each other. And I know you don't believe us, but we don't blame you, sweetheart. Nobody does. It wasn't your fault."

"I'm so scared," Gray whispered, leaning forward and resting his head against Sting's shoulder as Rogue rubbed his back. "I can't- all I can think about is h-how scared he looked, and the- there was s-so much blood, and I just…" His entire body tensed as he tried to hold in his tears. "I wish it was me instead," he whispered, reaching up to rub his eyes.

"Gray," Rogue said softly, moving so that Gray was held tightly in between him and Sting. "That wouldn't fix anything, love. We're both so thankful you're okay."

"B-but, it would be-"

"Look at me, baby," Sting said softly, but Gray shook his head. Sting kissed the top of his head, swallowing against the ache in his chest. "You're not less important than him, okay? I know it hurts. I'm scared too, and so's Rogue, and we don't know what's gonna happen, and that's- it's terrifying. But we love you so, so much and we can do this together, okay?"

Gray didn't say anything, just leaned against Sting and cried.


	7. Chapter 7

As soon as they walked into the parking garage, Gray felt like he couldn't breathe.

"I can't," he whispered. He took a step back from the car, shaking his head and wrapping his arm around himself. Rogue touched his back and Gray flinched.

"What's wrong, love?" Rogue asked gently. Gray suddenly found himself struggling for air, and when Rogue started rubbing his arms, it _hurt_. He couldn't look up, couldn't see the sadness and concern on Rogue's

"It's- I know it's stupid, I just…" Gray trailed off and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to push away memories that flashed through his mind. _Breaking glass, screaming, sirens, the horrifying sound of Natsu's head hitting the window..._ Gray felt light-headed, and the parking garage was suddenly much too small. He needed out.

"Gray, look at me." Rogue's voice sounded far away, and Gray couldn't focus on it, couldn't hear anything other than the sounds he was trying desperately to forget. He made a frustrated noise, taking another step back until he hit the wall.

"C'mon, sweetheart, we're gonna go see Natsu, remember?" That was Sting's voice. Gray opened his eyes to see both Sting and Rogue's concerned faces, and he let out a shaky breath.

"I don't…" Gray felt Sting squeeze his hand, and he tried desperately to push down the nausea that had been lurking ever since breakfast. His hands were shaking, and there was a tremor in his jaw that he couldn't control.

"You and I can sit in the back of the car, okay?" Sting said, running his thumb over Gray's knuckles. "I'll be right there with you. The hospital's only fifteen minutes away, right? And Rogue's the best driver out of all of us."

Gray took several deep breaths, focusing on Rogue's hand moving up and down his arm. He leaned forward and let Rogue wrap an arm around him, burying his face in Rogue's shoulder.

"I know," Gray said quietly. "Is it- is there still snow?"

"It's not snowing anymore, no," Rogue said, kissing Gray's head. "The roads are dry now. We drove home yesterday, remember?"

Gray shook his head. Everything was fuzzy – he vaguely recalled leaving the hospital, but most of it was a blur of words and colors. He'd been so tired.

Rogue held Gray tightly for a minute, running his fingers through Gray's hair and down his back. Then Sting gently tugged on Gray's hand, gesturing to the car.

"C'mon, sweetheart," Sting said. He opened the door and slid into the back seat, keeping a firm grip on Gray's hand. Gray hesitated, glancing between Sting and Rogue, then let Sting pull him into the car. "There you go," Sting said softly, pressing a kiss to the back of Gray's hand as Gray sat down. "You're okay."

Gray took several deep breaths, leaning forward and resting his head against the passenger seat until the dizziness faded. His cheeks were hot and he felt like crying again, but he couldn't tell if it was from grief or embarrassment.

When Rogue started up the car, Gray squeezed Sting's hand so hard that he was surprised that Sting didn't complain.

"Wendy showed me her new book at the hospital yesterday," Sting said, bringing one hand up to the back of Gray's neck and running his fingers behind Gray's ear. "It was about narwhals, made me think of that stupid video and I still have the song stuck in my head."

Gray let out a tense laugh and started to relax into the sensation of Sting's fingers in his hair. This was okay. He could do this.

"Erza was telling me that Wendy started swimming lessons – I can't believe she's starting kindergarten soon." Sting kept talking, voice soft and soothing. "We should have her over for a weekend sometime soon. You think she'd like the museum?"

"P-probably the animal part," Gray said, voice still shaky and uncertain. "If the other stuff bores you and…" He hesitated, closing his eyes and letting the ache wash over him before he tried again. "If it bores you and- and Natsu, I'm sure a five-year-old wouldn't be interested."

"To be fair, I think Wendy has a longer attention span than most adults," Rogue commented, looking back at them in the rearview mirror and then returning his gaze to the road. "Erza said she's already reading."

Sting and Rogue kept up the conversation all the way to the hospital, and Sting continued to run his fingers through Gray's hair, stroking behind his ear and down to the base of his neck. Gray flinched every time a car sped past them, and eventually looked down, staring at the hole in his shoes until they were parked.

"You did it," Sting said softly, kissing Gray's temple as he stood from the car. "You okay?"

Gray didn't answer, just let out a shaky breath and looked over to the hospital doors.

"C'mon, sweetheart," Rogue said, taking Gray's hand and squeezing it. "Let's go see Natsu."

* * *

There was no change from the previous day. Natsu was still unresponsive, and Rogue felt a deep sense of hopelessness wash over him when visiting hours ended and they headed home. He'd spent the afternoon watching Natsu's chest rise and fall, forced into an eerie rhythm by the ventilator.

If they took all the machines away, what would be left?

"We need you," Rogue had whispered to Natsu, once Sting had taken Gray to the cafeteria to try to convince him to eat. "We can't be right without you."

Now they were sitting in the parking garage, Gray asleep against Sting, who was giving Rogue a sad look in the mirror. Rogue turned in his seat to face Sting, reaching out and running his fingers over Gray's knee.

"I'm so tired," Sting said softly, reaching out and taking Rogue's hand. "I don't wanna go up. It hurts to be there without him, it's so quiet."

"I know," Rogue said, swallowing against more tears. "But we-"

He paused as a familiar car pulled up behind them, then backed into the visitor stall. Erza got out of the passenger seat and waved to them, then opened the back door and helped Wendy out.

"Uncle Rogue!" she shouted, looking both ways before running over to their car. Rogue opened the front door and stepped out, leaning down as Wendy threw her arms around him. "Maan and papa brought supper!"

"Did they?" Rogue said, leaning back a bit and brushing Wendy's hair from her face. He looked up at Erza and Jellal, who were carrying several bags.

"Hey, you guys," Erza said softly. Rogue stood up, and when Wendy reached out for him to pick her up, he did, shifting her onto his hip. Sting opened the back door and stepped out of the car, and Rogue saw that he'd woken up Gray, who was blinking blearily and rubbing his eyes.

"We thought you probably didn't feel like cooking," Jellal said, gesturing to the bags, which held several boxes of takeout.

"Or being alone," Erza added. Sting wiped at his eyes and hugged her tightly, then reached out to Gray and helped him out of the car.

* * *

When they got up to the apartment, Igneel, Mika and Silver were waiting outside the door. Gray nearly started crying again when Silver pulled him into a hug. Sting opened the apartment door and let everyone in, flicking on the light.

There was a flurry of activity while everyone took over the kitchen, opening containers and setting the table. Wendy squirmed down from Rogue's arms, then dragged him into the kitchen to try to convince him to give her some of the candies that she knew were hidden in the cupboards.

"You okay?" Sting asked softly as he helped Gray take off his jacket. Gray shrugged, rubbing his eyes as he kicked off his shoes.

"I'm tired," Gray said eventually, staring blankly at Sting's hand in his. "Everything hurts, and I'm sad, and I don't… I just wanna sleep." He looked miserable, and Sting sighed.

"Come on," Sting said, tugging Gray gently toward their room. Gray looked hesitant, but let Sting guide him to the bed. "It's okay, you don't have to be social. They'll understand."

Gray sighed, letting Sting tuck him under the covers and move a pillow under his arm. Sting brushed Gray's hair back and kissed him on the temple, then pressed their foreheads together.

"I love you," he said softly. "And I'm gonna keep saying it, because you deserve to hear it, no matter how much you're hurting."

Sting sat with Gray until he fell asleep, then headed back out into the living room, where everyone was eating at the table, talking quietly. Someone had turned on the kitchen radio, and the soft music was a gentle background to the conversation. Sting caught Rogue's eye, smiled softly, then headed into the living room.

The muted words between everyone in the apartment faded into a gentle hum as Sting curled up on the corner of the couch, pulling Natsu's hoodie up to his face and breathing deeply. Part of him was tempted to hide in the bedroom with Gray – there was too much going on here, too many people who wanted to talk about—

"You need a hug?" Sting looked up at the question to see Wendy standing in front of the couch, looking at him solemnly. He sighed, nodding as she climbed up onto the couch next to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I like hugs when I'm sad," she said softly.

"Me too, _mausebär_ ," Sting said quietly. "Thank you."

"Are you sad 'cause of Uncle Natsu?" she asked, snuggling up to Sting until she was lying on his chest. "Maan says he got a hurt in his head and he's sleeping."

Sting swallowed the urge to start crying again and kissed the top of Wendy's head.

"Yeah," he said after a moment. "Yeah, I'm sad about Uncle Natsu." He sighed shakily. "But that's okay, being sad isn't a bad thing, right? Sometimes we need to be sad."

"Yeah. When I'm sad I cuddle Raja 'cause she's my favorite," Wendy said, pointing down to the floor where a stuffed tiger sat next to a pile of books. "I brought him for Uncle Natsu so he can cuddle her in the hospital."

"That's very sweet," Sting said softly. "I'm sure it'll make him happy."

Wendy lay quietly on Sting's lap for a while, and Sting started humming softly, stroking Wendy's hair and letting her cuddle up against him.

"Is Uncle Natsu gonna get better?" she asked eventually, burying her face in Sting's neck. He sighed, rubbing his face and wishing he had better answers.

"We don't know, _liebling,"_ he said, keeping his voice gentle. "Hurting your head is different than when you scrape your knee. Your brain is what controls your whole body, so if your head is hurt, the rest of your body can't do the things it's supposed to do."

"Like waking up?" she asked. Sting's chest ached, and he took a deep breath to keep his composure, wishing he could tell her that everything would be okay. He managed to keep himself from crying, but when he replied, his voice was rough.

"Yeah," he said, hugging Wendy tightly. "Like waking up."


	8. Chapter 8

It was nearly a week later when they got a call in the middle of the night, and Gray's chest tightened in panic as soon as he heard the ringing. He fumbled for the phone with his good arm, pressing it to his face and tearfully whispering, "what happened?"

"It's good news," Doctor Krantz reassured him, "Natsu opened his eyes," Gray let out a choked sob of relief, covering his face with his hand as his pounding heart started to slow. Sting took the phone from Gray gently as Rogue wrapped an arm around him.

"Breathe, love," Rogue said softly, combing his fingers through Gray's hair. "It's okay."

Gray could hear Sting talking in the background, but everything was muffled, and all he could do was focus on his breathing and the feeling of Rogue's shirt under his fingers.

Natsu might be okay.

The relief Gray had expected to feel was tempered by some other feeling he couldn't identify – something that clawed at his chest and made it hard to breathe.

Gray jumped as Sting's hand joined Rogue's on his shoulder, and he looked up to see Sting's teary face, a tentatively optimistic smile on his face.

"I f-feel…" Gray's voice felt stuck in his throat, words caught behind the torrent of emotion flooding from him. "F-fuck, I'm just—"

"It's okay," Sting said gently, leaning into Gray and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "C'mon, Doctor Krantz said he'd make an exception, we can go see him right now."

"O-okay," Gray said shakily, resting his head on Sting's chest. He could hear Sting's heart pounding, feel him trembling beneath Gray's hands as Gray wrapped an arm around him. Sting buried his face in Gray's hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head and letting out a shaky sigh.

"C'mon," Rogue murmured, running his hand up and down Gray's arm, then tugging him to his feet. "We're gonna be okay."

* * *

"Hey, sweetheart."

Sting settled down in the chair next to Natsu's bed and spoke softly, reaching up to brush a few strands of hair from Natsu's face. It had been two days since Natsu had opened his eyes and he'd been slightly more responsive, but Doctor Krantz had warned them that the small improvements weren't a guarantee that Natsu would wake up entirely.

"Got something for you," Sting said, reaching into his bag and tugging out a small stuffed animal – a well-loved red dragon, with one wing lovingly stitched back on. He gently opened Natsu's hand, then closed Natsu's fingers around the toy, brushing his thumb over the back of Natsu's hand.

"That's from Maddie," Sting said, smiling when Natsu's fingers twitched around the stuffed animal. "She said he'd help you feel better. All the kids at the daycare miss you."

Natsu's hand tightened again, and Sting let out a shaky sigh when Natsu's head turned a bit in his direction.

"You with me?" Sting asked, shifting up a bit and running his fingers through Natsu's hair. "Rogue said you opened your eyes again for him this morning. I'm really proud of you, sweetheart. You're fighting so hard."

Natsu's eyes stayed closed, but he continued to grip the stuffed dragon and Sting's fingers tightly. Sting trailed his fingers down Natsu's cheek, skipping over the cut beneath his eye.

"The nurse said I'm supposed to talk to you like you were awake," Sting said after a minute, rubbing his eyes. "But…" He sighed, swallowing hard to keep back the tears. "I miss you so much. I hate waking up without you there, it's just- you're- you're always…"

Sting exhaled shakily, giving up the pretense of not crying. Nobody else was there. He wiped his face as the tears fell, but it didn't make a difference.

"You're supposed to be the first thing I see in the morning," he whispered, running his thumb over Natsu's knuckles. "We've always- I've woken up to you every day for so long, and I-"

He shook his head in frustration. Why couldn't he stop crying? He should be happy that Natsu was getting better, but the last week and a half had felt like an eternity. Sting felt like he was falling apart over and over again.

"I'd do- I'll do anything," Sting pleaded, squeezing Natsu's hand tightly, "I'll- I can do all the laundry and I'll never tease you about your dancing, and I'll- fuck, I don't even care if your parents hate me. I can take it, I don't c-care, I p-promise, you're the only thing that matters."

Sting pressed his forehead to the edge of the bed and squeezed Natsu's hand. "Please, sweetheart. I love you. Please wake up."

* * *

Sting blinked awake slowly to the sound of someone knocking on the door of the hospital room. He pushed himself up, realizing he'd cried himself to sleep on the edge of Natsu's bed. Sting's face felt tight from the tears dried on his cheeks.

"May I come in?" The voice at the door was quiet, and Sting ignored it as he looked down at Natsu's fingers closed over his.

Someone sat down next to Sting, and eventually he looked up to see Natsu's mother, looking sadly at her son. Sting hadn't seen her since the incident with Natsu's father – they had managed not to cross paths at the hospital.

"I can leave," Sting said, reluctantly moving to stand. His voice was tight and rough, and he didn't want to let go of Natsu's hand, but he couldn't deal with this right now. What was he supposed to say to someone who hated him for loving her son?

"Stay," Maya said softly, reaching up and grabbing Sting's arm. She pulled him gently back into the chair. "Please," she added.

Sting looked uncertainly between Natsu and Maya, then sighed and leaned forward against the bed again. He was so tired, and he wished Gray and Rogue were here instead of sleeping at home.

Maya left her hand on Sting's arm as she shuffled her chair closer to the bed. The lines on her face were dark and stark with grief, and Sting couldn't find the energy to be angry with her.

"Natsu was always such a stubborn little boy," Maya said softly. "His sister was, too. I don't know what I did in a past live to deserve such headstrong children." Her voice was thick with grief, but she tried her best to smile.

"He's still stubborn," Sting said quietly, looking back up at Natsu. "He's gonna get through this."

They sat in silence for a long time, the quiet beeps of the machinery filling the space where their words would have been.

"I have been so stupid," Maya whispered eventually, voice breaking. She turned and looked at Sting, and he could see guilt and frustration in her eyes. "We always taught the children kindness. Compassion. Love. How to be the kind of people who do good in the world." She wiped her eyes, then rested her hand on Natsu's leg. "And now we have condemned him for loving too much."

Sting wasn't sure what to say. Part of him was furious – at Maya, at Sanjay, at the woman who'd caused this, at the hospital, at himself, at the god he didn't believe in. But weariness was overtaking the anger, and it felt pointless. Hate and bitterness wasn't going to make Natsu better.

Sting's hand was still wrapped in Natsu's, tucked around the stuffed dragon, and he jumped a bit when Natsu's fingers tightened around his again.

"Here," Sting said quietly, reaching for Maya's hand and placing it in Natsu's. "I think he knows we're talking about him." He watched Natsu's fingers twitch around Maya's, and she smiled softly as she brushed her thumb over Natsu's knuckles.

"He still loves dragons, then?" Maya asked, looking at the stuffed animal in Natsu's hand.

"Yeah," Sting said, smiling. "He kinda has a collection at the apartment- Lego ones, a few models he bought. Wendy really likes play with them when she visits."

Maya sighed, looking between Natsu and Sting.

"Tell me about him," she said, voice almost pleading. The look she gave Sting made his heart hurt. "Please," she added. "I've been so unkind, pushed him away. I feel like I don't know him anymore."

Sting looked up at Natsu, running his fingers over Natsu's cheek and tucking Natsu's hair behind his ear. His chest ached as he thought about the brilliant smile that he adored.

"I've loved your son for a long time," he said softly. "Longer than we've been together. He's always so… bright. Happy. He lights up everything, he cares about everyone so deeply." Sting swallowed around the lump in his throat. "He has the prettiest smile."

Sting could hear Maya sniffling, but Sting wasn't really paying attention to her anymore. He was focused on Natsu – on the soft rise and fall of his chest, the dark curve of his eyelashes, the tiny silver scar on his lip that he'd gotten from Happy.

"He laughs a lot," Sting added. "It's my favorite sound. He's funny, and really clumsy, and a terrible cook… he's so kind, and I love him so, so much."

Sting was surprised when he felt Maya's arm around his shoulders, and he tensed for a second, then gave up and leaned into the embrace. Maya was warm and gentle, and Sting suddenly missed his own mother so keenly it hurt.

"It is easy to see how much you love him," Maya said slowly, rubbing Sting's shoulder. "It was- from so far away, on the phone, it was easy to tell him what was right and wrong." She sighed, squeezing Natsu's hand. "I wish I had listened to him. He deserves to be loved by all of you."

Sting looked over at her, a desperate mix of emotions struggling through him. Maya seemed so different, nothing like the cold-faced woman who'd told Sting to leave the hospital room a week ago.

"It seems," Maya said slowly, "that I have a lot to make up for." She sighed, squeezing Natsu's hand. "I cannot speak for Sanjay – he is as stubborn as his children – but I want to make things right. I've treated you poorly. Will you accept my apology?"

Sting hesitated. The memory of being pushed away from Natsu's bedside still stung, and Sting thought of Sanjay telling him _we don't need you interfering, get out._ But Maya looked so sincere, and Sting didn't want Natsu to wake up to this angry tension between his families.

"Yes," he said, and a look of relief flooded across Maya's face. "I don't know about the other two," Sting added quickly. "Gray's really angry at Sanjay, and he's… he's not coping very well with all this. Now's probably not the best time to try to talk to him."

Maya nodded, squeezing Sting in a half-hug and then letting him go. "How is it that you are so kind?" she asked. "When we have been so cruel?"

Sting was quiet for a moment, combing his fingers through Natsu's hair.

"I lost my parents when I was little," he said eventually. "I still miss them a lot. If I could get them back…" He sighed. "I'm too tired to be angry," he admitted. "And when Natsu wakes up, he'll get to decide if he wants you in his life or not."

Maya let go of Natsu's fingers, grabbing Sting's hand and placing it back in Natsu's.

"I want to know him, know who he is now," she said quietly. "And I want to know the men who love him as well."

* * *

Gray exhaled shakily as he stepped out of the car and into the hospital parking lot. Even after two weeks, driving made him panic. He'd taken to keeping his eyes closed while Sting sang to him, or Rogue told him stories to keep him distracted.

A yawn broke out of him and Gray rubbed his eyes. His sleep last night had been filled with intermittent nightmares, and he'd ended up on the couch at three in the morning, flicking through Netflix.

Gray jumped when Rogue touched his arm, and he suddenly felt like crying. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to calm his pounding heart.

"Hey," Rogue said softly, stepping in front of Gray and trying to catch his eye. "Sweetheart, look at me." Gray shook his head, crossing his arm over his stomach. His cheeks burned, and his mind was a mess of confused emotions.

"Dunno what's wrong with me," he whispered, sniffling. "It's- I'm okay now. I'm fine."

He didn't want to talk about how he kept hearing sirens and the sound of Natsu's head hitting the window, or how every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was Natsu's terrified eyes and blood on the windshield.

"You're not fine," Sting said, moving around the car and standing close to Gray, but not touching. "I know you don't wanna talk about things, but I think you should see that counsellor that Doctor Krantz recommended."

Gray made a sad sound, turning to Rogue and pressing his face into Rogue's jacket. Talking hurt. Everything hurt – even with the painkillers, there was always a low, dull, background pain that burned through his nerves and kept him awake when all he wanted to do was escape into sleep.

"I don't…" He tried to argue, but Rogue shook his head, holding Gray tightly.

"Sting's right, love," he said. "I know talking sucks, but it's not gonna get better on its own." He kissed the top of Gray's head. "It hurts to see you struggling like this. We just want you to be okay."

"I can't," Gray whispered. "Not until…"

He trailed off, but they all knew that he meant _not until Natsu wakes up._

"Let's talk about it later," Sting suggested, reaching out and taking Gray's hand. "C'mon, let's go see Natsu."

* * *

It was almost evening – there were no windows in the ICU, but Gray could feel his stomach growling and knew it was close to suppertime. The thought of eating made him feel sick.

He sighed, leaning forward on Natsu's bed, forehead pressed against Natsu's arm. Today had been a good day, all things considered. Natsu had opened his eyes a few times, and had even been able to follow Doctor Krantz's instructions to watch a pen cross his field of vision, or squeeze Gray's hand.

So why did Gray still feel so hopeless?

Gray sat up and pulled his phone from his pocket, looking down to see a text from Sting.

 _Dad just got here, you want him to come up and sit with you for a bit? Rogue and I are still with Uncle Igneel in the cafeteria._

A few seconds later, another text came through.

 _I love you, sweetheart._

Gray felt a small smile tugging at his lips, and he was about to reply when a soft voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Gr… ay?" Holy shit, it was Natsu. Gray dropped his phone, standing up and grabbing Natsu's hand. Natsu's eyes were open, but instead of the unfocused gaze of the last two weeks, he was looking at directly at Gray, fingers squeezing Gray's tightly. "Wh-wh…"

"Shh, sweetheart," Gray said softly. He grabbed the call bell and pressed it a few times, never taking his eyes off Natsu's face. "It's okay, you're okay. I'm here."

Natsu swallowed, blinking a few times and slowly looking around the room. Gray brought a hand to Natsu's face and ran his thumb over Natsu's cheek, and Natsu looked back at him again.

Gray felt dizzy and he realized that he was breathing in short gasps. He clung to Natsu's hand tightly, stroking his hair and trying to ignore the tears on his cheeks. A deep sense of relief flooded through him and he nearly collapsed against the bed.

"Gods, baby, I missed you so much," he whispered, leaning down and kissing Natsu's forehead. "I'm so sorry."

"H-hurts," Natsu said quietly, frowning in confusion. "Wh… ca- fr…" The words were stuttered and made no sense, but Gray didn't care.

Natsu was awake.


	9. Chapter 9

Natsu was awake.

Sting felt dizzy, sitting on the edge of Natsu's bed, staring into his dark eyes and holding his hand tightly. Doctor Krantz hovered on the edge of the room, talking quietly with Igneel, but their conversation was just background noise. All Sting could focus on was Natsu.

"I missed you so much," Sting whispered, reaching up and brushing Natsu's hair gently out of his face. Natsu frowned at him, then looked over again to Rogue and Gray, who were sitting on the opposite side of the bed.

"Wh…" Natsu started to speak and then shook his head slowly and let out a huff of frustration.

"It's okay," Gray said gently, squeezing Natsu's thigh. "I know it's a lot. You've been out for a bit."

"L-long?" Natsu asked eventually, flicking his gaze back over to Sting.

"A couple weeks," Sting said. He ran his thumb over Natsu's knuckles, hesitating and then adding, "do you remember what happened?"

Natsu shook his head, looking back at Gray. "Hurt?" he asked, taking in the light bruising that still ran along Gray's jaw, and the cast on his arm.

"I'm fine," Gray said, giving Natsu a shaky smile.

"Hurt," Natsu insisted, frowning and reaching out a trembling hand to touch Gray's cheek. "Y-you…" He sighed, then tried again. "What? Did?"

"You and Gray were in an accident," Rogue said gently, running his hand up and down Gray's back. "But you're both okay now."

Natsu nodded, still looking unconvinced, then looked up as Igneel made his way over to the bed.

"Taayaa?" Natsu said hesitantly, and Igneel nodded as he leaned down and kissed Natsu's forehead. Natsu glanced back at the door, then asked, "Maan? Pita?"

"They're on their way," Igneel replied, voice thick with emotion. "Erza, too."

Sting saw Gray's face tighten at the mention of Natsu's parents, and he reached across the bed to touch Gray's hand. Rogue gave Sting a look, then squeezed Gray's shoulder and pulled him close.

A calm silence spread out through the room as Natsu looked around at all of them. His expression was still hesitant, but he clearly recognized everyone, and Sting couldn't help himself as he started to cry.

"Sting," Natsu said softly, squeezing Sting's hand tightly. "O-okay?"

"Yeah, sweetheart," Sting said softly, moving in closer and pressing a kiss to Natsu's temple. "We're all gonna be okay."

* * *

Gray knew he was dreaming because the car was upside down.

As bad as the crash had been, they'd been right-side up when the paramedics had arrived, lights reflecting in the mirrors while Gray held Natsu's hand and begged him to open his eyes.

In the dream, Gray was pleading in French, but Natsu was so cold and still. Then they were underwater and Gray's words were being carried away in little bubbles. The water around them turned red, thick and murky until Gray couldn't see Natsu, couldn't feel his hand, couldn't—

"Sweetheart, wake up." That was Natsu's voice, breaking through the haze of the dream, and Gray shuddered as he opened his eyes. Natsu was there, face just inches away, dark eyes soft and concerned as he touched Gray's cheek.

"You're alive," Gray whispered, pressing his face into Natsu's palm and bunching his fingers in the fabric of Natsu's shirt. The frantic pounding of Gray's heart slowed a bit as he breathed in the familiar smell of laundry soap and grapefruit chapstick. "You're... it's..."

"It's okay," Natsu whispered, shuffling closer until he could wrap both arms around Gray and pull him in close. "We're at home, you're safe. Look, here's Frosch."

There was a squeaky meow and Frosch appeared above Gray, sniffing his head and licking his ear. Gray let out a half-sob, half-laugh, and reached up to run his fingers through her fur.

Something else shifted behind Gray, and then there was a hand on his hip and lips on the back of his neck.

"Hey, love," Rogue whispered, moving closer until his chest was pressed up against Gray's back. Gray exhaled shakily and covered Rogue's hand with his own. He closed his eyes, letting himself feel safe between the two of them.

Sting blinked awake behind Natsu and yawned, sitting up a bit and rubbing his face.

"You okay?" he asked quietly, reaching over Natsu and touching the back of Gray's hand.

"Mm." Gray nodded, pressing his forehead to Natsu's chest and breathing deeply. Natsu was here, he was awake and alive and his heart was beating under Gray's ear. "Sorry."

Rogue shook his head, rubbing gentle circles on Gray's stomach. "You haven't had a nightmare in almost a month," he said. "You're doing a lot better. We're proud of you."

"I know," Gray mumbled into Natsu's shirt. Natsu kissed the top of Gray's head and stroked his hair, and Gray focused on matching his breathing to the soft, even rise and fall of Natsu's chest.

The four of them lay in silence for a while, eventually joined by Happy, who wedged himself between Natsu and Gray, and Lector, who curled up against Gray's legs. The dream slowly faded from Gray's mind until it was nothing more than thin, vague threads that he could easily push away.

When he finally fell back asleep, he didn't dream.

* * *

"I'm sick of this hospital," Natsu grumbled. Sting hummed in agreement, sipping at the cafeteria coffee and leaning forward on the table, studying Natsu's face. Over the past three months the scars on his face had faded until they were barely noticeable, other than the thin white line beneath his left eye.

"How was physio?" Sting asked. Natsu rolled his eyes.

"The usual, it hurts and Mira's mean to me," he said, stretching his leg and pouting when Sting laughed at him. The physio clinic and Gray's therapist were both at the hospital, which had made things a bit easier since Natsu couldn't drive, and Gray still refused to. "Pretty sure I hate physio less than Gray hates therapy, though."

"I don't think anyone hates _anything_ as much as Gray hates therapy," Sting said.

"You guys are jerks." Gray's voice came from behind Sting and he jumped in surprise, tipping his head back to see both Gray and Rogue standing behind him. Sting looked back at Natsu and glared.

"How long have they been there?"

Natsu didn't say anything, just stuck his tongue out at Sting and laughed.

"To be fair, he's not wrong," Gray said, leaning down and kissing Sting's forehead. "It was horrible. You guys ready for lunch?"

Natsu nodded, letting Rogue take his arm and help him up out of his chair. At first, Natsu been annoyingly stubborn about letting the three of them help him, insisting on doing everything on his own. They'd all been as patient as possible, but Sting had been the one to snap and yell at Natsu for a solid five minutes after he'd fallen in the shower and nearly broken his other hip. Since then, Natsu had begrudgingly let them help him out.

"I want ramen," Natsu announced.

"We had ramen yesterday," Gray reminded him. Natsu gave Gray a pathetic look.

"I almost _died,"_ he insisted, sighing dramatically. There was a flicker of hesitation in Gray's eyes, and a flash of guilt across his face, but he pushed it away and rolled his eyes instead.

"You can't use that excuse forever," he said, grabbing Natsu's hand and pulling him in for a sideways hug.

"Sure I can," Natsu argued as they started to move toward the exit. His gait was still slightly uneven, but the physio had made the limp much less pronounced. "Plus, you love ramen."

Gray couldn't disagree. He pressed a quick kiss to Natsu's temple, whispering, "I love you, too," as they walked out the door and into the sunshine.

* * *

"Would it be easier if I wasn't here?"

Natsu leaned forward and when he touched Gray's shoulder, Gray flinched, tightening his hands on the steering wheel. He took a few deep breaths, shaking his head and staring out the windshield.

 _Breaking glass, shouting, blood, sirens._

"Focus on what's real," Rogue said gently from the passenger seat. "You're not there, you're here, you're safe."

Gray swallowed a few times, trying to calm the frantic pounding of his heart. They were pulled over on the side of a residential road, three blocks from the apartment. He'd made it farther than this before, but the anticipation of their trip to Vancouver was making him more anxious than usual – both because of the driving, and because they were going to visit Natsu's mother.

"W-we're... it's not winter," he said. It was June, now – nearly four months after the accident – and the sky was a bright, clear blue. Gray reached up and covered Natsu's hand with his own. "There's s-sun," he continued. "It's... a different car."

"There you go," Rogue said, rubbing Gray's thigh. "You can do this. And you can take as long as you need."

"We're gonna have to stop a million times for Natsu to pee anyway," Sting joked, and Gray let out a quiet laugh as he nodded.

"I did have two cups of coffee already," Natsu admitted, squeezing Gray's shoulder.

Sting elbowed him. "The neurologist said no caffeine," he admonished.

"It was..." Natsu frowned. "The one... where you don't? Not the awake one."

"Decaf?" Sting suggested.

"Yes!" Natsu said brightly. He still occasionally struggled with forgetting words, which Doctor Krantz had said was typical for the kind of brain injury he'd experienced. When he'd first woken up, most of the words Natsu had said hadn't made much sense, but it was noticeably improving.

Gray exhaled, letting go of Natsu's hand and reaching down to turn the car back on. Nobody else was on the street, and he pulled out of the parking space slowly, focusing on taking deep breaths as he approached the next intersection.

Half an hour later, they were out on the highway, and Gray felt himself slowly relaxing as he watched the trees pass by on either side of the road. He could hear Sting and Natsu talking quietly in the back seat – debating who would win in a fight between the Millennium Falcon and the Enterprise.

"You doing okay?" Rogue asked, reaching over and running his fingers through Gray's hair, then rubbing his thumb over the back of Gray's neck. "We can stop if you need to."

"Mm." Gray sighed at the sensation, holding back a flinch as a semi came toward them on the other side of the highway. "Maybe... the next rest stop? Just for a few minutes?"

"Of course," Rogue said softly. "We're not in a hurry – take as much time as you need."

* * *

"Maan!" Natsu pushed himself up from the restaurant chair, wincing a bit at the pain in his hip and then moving forward to hug his mother. She kissed his forehead, hugging him tightly and then turning to the other three.

"May I hug you as well?" she asked uncertainly. Sting immediately nodded and stood up, pulling her into an embrace. Rogue followed suit, but Gray stayed seated, looking unsure. Maya and Sanjay had gone back to Vancouver two weeks after Natsu had woken up, and Gray had avoided them both the entire time.

Maya gave Gray a sad smile and moved to sit down, but Gray surprised everyone by slowly standing up and reaching his hand out to her.

"It's... good to see you," he said quietly, and when she pulled him close, he felt his chest tighten. He tensed for a moment, then slowly relaxed into the embrace.

"Thank you," she said, slowly letting him go and squeezing his arm.

Natsu shifted his chair and gestured for Maya to sit between him and Gray, then hesitantly asked, "Pita?"

Maya shook her head sadly, reaching over and taking Natsu's hand. "I'm sorry," she said, and Natsu nodded, swallowing hard and blinking a few times to clear the tears that appeared in his eyes. "He is..."

"Stubborn, I know," Natsu said quietly. He'd known that his father wouldn't come, but a small part of him had clung to the hope that maybe he was wrong. He tried to push away the ache of disappointment, but it settled heavily in his chest.

Sting's hand appeared on his knee, and Natsu let out a shaky breath, taking it and squeezing, then wiping at his eyes.

"How was the drive?" Maya asked, glancing over at Gray.

"It was... okay," he said, playing with his fork.

"Gray drove most of the way," Rogue added, nudging Gray and smiling. "We're really proud of him." Gray's cheeks turned pink and he ducked his head.

"That's wonderful," Maya said, beaming at Gray. "How are things at home?"

"I'm going back to work in a couple weeks," Natsu said, shifting in his chair. "Sting got moved to my room at the daycare for a bit to help me out, since I can't really pick any of the kids up yet. Lucy's been really good about making things easier for me."

Maya gave Natsu a proud smile, then turned to Gray. "And what about you?" she asked.

"I, uh, I went back to work a few days after you guys left," he said quietly. "It's been… good?" He didn't mention the part where he'd only gone back two days a week at first, and had struggled through several weeks of panic attacks before the sessions with his therapist had started to help.

The conversation was interrupted as the waiter came to take their orders, and when the food came, their conversation turned to lighter topics, like Wendy's swimming lessons and Rogue's new photography exhibit.

When the meal was done, Maya insisted on paying, and when they all stood to leave, she reached out gently and touched Gray's shoulder.

"Thank you," she said quietly, and he sighed, reaching up and covering her hand with his own. "I know this has been hard for you, and I… thank you for letting me be a part of your lives."

"It's okay," he said softly, trying to work past the anxious mess in his chest. "It's… it means a lot to Natsu. I want him to be happy."

"So do I," Maya said softly, turning to watch Natsu as he laughed at something Sting said. "And I'm glad he has all of you to love him."

* * *

Walking back into the hotel room was a welcome relief from the busy heat of downtown Vancouver. Natsu kicked off his pants and flopped back onto the bed with a happy sigh, shifting until he was nestled against the ridiculous assortment of pillows against the headboard.

"C'mere," he said to Gray, reaching out his hand and pulling Gray down next to him. "You okay?"

"Mm." Gray yawned, turning to face Natsu and pressing their foreheads together. "I love you."

"I know," Natsu teased, running his hand up to Gray's cheek and pulling him in for a kiss. Gray hummed contentedly, drawing his fingers up Natsu's side as he pressed into the kiss, letting Natsu take charge and run his tongue along Gray's lip.

The bed dipped behind Gray and he felt Sting snuggle up behind him. Rogue settled in on the other side of Natsu, and Gray felt a warm sense of contentment spread through his chest as he relaxed in between all of them.

"Gray." Natsu pulled back, brushing his fingers through Gray's hair and giving him a soft, serious look. "I'm not gonna break." Gray felt his cheeks flush hot and he tried to pull back from Natsu, who shook his head and ran his thumb over Gray's cheekbone.

"I know," Gray said softly, running his fingers down Natsu's arm. "I know, I just…"

Things had been different, lately. The first time they'd all made love after Natsu had come home from the hospital had been overwhelming, and Gray hadn't been able to stop crying afterward. They'd been intimate since then, but it hadn't been quite the same.

"You're not gonna break either," Natsu said. Gray swallowed, looking up at Natsu, who smiled softly at him. "We're okay, right?"

Gray nodded, sighing as Sting began to rub gentle circles on his stomach.

"I need you guys." Natsu's voice was soft and vulnerable, and he tipped his head back to look at Rogue, who was propped up on his elbow behind Natsu, playing with the hem of his shirt. "Please."

Gray let out a shaky breath as he closed his eyes, focusing on the real things around him. The smell of Sting's shampoo, Natsu's heartbeat under his fingertips, Rogue's quiet breathing.

"I was so scared," he whispered, swallowing heavily. "Y-you… I thought…"

"I know," Natsu said, kissing Gray's forehead. "I know, but I'm here. I'm okay, and I love you, and I wanna make love to you."

Gray nodded, then leaned forward, kissing Natsu again. He shivered when Sting pulled him closer and whispered in his ear, "it wasn't your fault. You deserve to be loved."

Natsu hummed happily, hooking his ankle around Gray's and pulling him closer. Rogue kissed just below Natsu's ear, then took Gray's hand and placed it on Natsu's thigh, just over the thick, white scar from the surgery to fix his hip.

Gray let out a shaky breath, then carefully traced his fingers over the scar, enjoying the soft sounds that Natsu made into his mouth. Natsu shifted until Gray's fingers moved closer inward, drifting over the growing hardness under his boxers.

"Please," Natsu whispered, moaning quietly as Rogue pressed up against his back, holding him tightly and nipping at his earlobe. "Please, wanna… need you all. Wanna feel you in me. Please."

Gray ran his hand across Natsu's boxers again, stroking him more purposefully this time. This was okay. They were gonna be okay.

He slowly shifted until he was on top of Natsu, sitting in between his legs and gazing down at Natsu's face.

"Anything for you," he whispered, then leaned down and kissed Natsu again.


End file.
